Start the week with some smiles …..
Images by Latuff
From Katie Miranda
From the Israeli Press
And finally, Americans sing O CANADA …..
(In the style of Jon Stewart)
The whole world was watching for the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States: Donald J. Trump. Because we realize it’s better for us to get along, we decided to introduce our tiny country to him. In a way that will probably appeal to him the most.
November 25, 2016 at 08:27 (Humour)
Views from Right Field
The following are FROM
These are possibilities …..
The two candidates agree on one issue …. NO TO PALESTINE!
This Could Be Our Next First Lady. In this outfit he looks a lot like the late “Queen Mom” of England.
Dealing with Ms. Potty Mouth
Finally turning over her EMails
President Obama’s farewell speech
There couldn’t have been a better choice in songs …
Newly elected President Hillary Clinton sitting in the Oval Office ….
Looking up to a painting of George Washington
And asking him ….. “What should I do as President”?
To which he responds ….. “Always be honest to your people”!
To which she responds ….. “I don’t think that is possible”!
She then looks up to a portrait of Thomas Jefferson
And asks him the same question ….
To which he responded ….. “Do everything in your power to preserve Democracy in this great nation”!
To which she responded ….. “I don’t think that is possible”!
Saving the best for last, she then looks up to President Lincoln
And once again repeats her question …..
To which he responded ……
Have you ever heard that a dog ‘knows’ when an earthquake is about to hit?
Have you ever heard that a dog can ‘sense’ when a tornado is stirring up, even 20 miles away?
Do you remember hearing that before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?
Do you know that dogs can detect cancer and other serious illnesses and danger of fire?
Somehow they always know when they can ‘go for a ride’ before you even ask.
How do those dogs and cats get home from hundreds of miles away?
I’m a firm believer that animals – and especially cats and dogs – have keen insights into the Truth.
And you can’t tell me that dogs can’t sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.
Simply said, a dog just KNOWS when something isn’t right… when impending doom is upon us.
They’ll always try to warn us!
We should listen!
As the Election Year approaches, I had to share this one with you all …..
Once upon a time there was a king who
wanted to go fishing.
He called the royal weather forecaster and
inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.
The weatherman assured
him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days.
So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen.
On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area”. The king was polite and considerate, he replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way.”
So he continued on his way.
However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky.
The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”
So the king hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.
And the practice is unbroken to this day…
One liners for an election year
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~Henry Cate, VII~
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, 1952~
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~ Tex Guinan~
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle~
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
There ought to be one day — just one — when there is open season on Congressmen.
And remember this …..