TOOSDAY’S TOONS ~~ A LOOK AT ISRAEL TODAY

Images by Carlos Latuff

Who’s REALLY inciting hatred?

As right-wing incitement spreads in israel, Bibi looks to extinguish fire he stoked for years

As right-wing incitement spreads in Israel, Bibi looks to extinguish fire he stoked for years

“Justice” Denied Access to Records on Arms Sales to Rwanda During Genocide

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ONE WAR CRIMINAL TO ANOTHER

Former Israeli President Shimon Peres wishes Queen Elizabeth happy 90th birthday

 

Carlos Latuff adds ….

Happy Birthday Your Majesty from Ireland and Scotland

Happy Birthday Your Majesty from Ireland and Scotland

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The Queen’s views on retirement ….

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UNBROKEN TRADITIONS IN GOVERNMENT HIRING

YOU'RE HIRED Rubber Stamp

As the Election Year approaches, I had to share this one with you all …..

Once upon a time there was a king who​

wanted to go fishing. 

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He called the royal weather forecaster and

inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.

The weatherman assured ​

him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. 

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So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. 

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On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area”. The king was polite and considerate, he replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way.” 

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So he continued on his way.

However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. 

The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition. 

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.

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The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.” 

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So the king hired the donkey.

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And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.

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And the practice is unbroken to this day…

ELECTION YEAR ONE LINERS

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One liners for an election year

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

~Jay Leno~

 

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

~Henry Cate, VII~ 

 

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office

~Aesop~

 

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

~Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev~

 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.

~Clarence Darrow~

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton~

 

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.

~Author unknown~

 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer~

 

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.

~Adlai Stevenson, 1952~

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

~ Tex Guinan~

 

 

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle~

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson~

 

There ought to be one day — just one — when there is open season on Congressmen.  

 

~Will Rogers

And remember this …..

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JOHN OLIVER TRUMPS TRUMP ….

THE MOST PATHETIC ATTEMPT EVER TO DISCREDIT BDS

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I was not able to upload the video in question, instead it is linked below …. it is a MUST watch if you want to see the desperate attempts by supporters in the ‘Christian’ Camp to discredit the entire BDS Movement . The video has gone viral since they posted it two days ago.

It is most entertaining …. you will get a kick out of it for sure.

They call it 

The video that literally just blew the BDS movement to smithereens!

Click HERE to see the video in question ….

HILARIOUS VIDEO ~~ TRUMP GOES HOUSE TO HOUSE IN BROOKLYN

Done for fun but not far from truth

 

HITLER HAD ONE UP ON MOST OF TODAY’S WESTERN LEADERSHIP

A medical document shows that Adolf Hitler only had one testicle.

That’s one more than most of today’s leaders have😉

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Hitler Had Just One Testicle, Medical Records Show

BERLIN – A medical document shows that Adolf Hitler only had one testicle, German media said on Saturday, suggesting there is some truth after all to a popular British song that says the dictator had “only got one ball.”

There has long been speculation that Hitler was missing one testicle, with rumors circulating that he lost the other one during the Battle of the Somme in the First World War.

But a medical record from the time when Hitler was put in prison after the failed Munich beer hall putsch in 1923 shows he suffered from “right-side cryptorchidism” – a condition where a testicle fails to descend into the scrotum – media reports said.

The doctor’s notes were thought to have been missing for years but reappeared at an auction in 2010, at which point they were seized by authorities.

“The experienced medical officer immediately recognized the condition!” top-selling newspaper Bild quoted historian Peter Fleischmann, who has studied the record, as saying.

Fleischmann could not immediately be reached for comment.

 

Source

GEORGE CARLIN ON SAVING THE PLANET

Be sure to see THIS post first …..

TIMELY THANKSGIVING IMAGE

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PHOTO OF THE DAY ~~ SUBLIMINAL GARDENING

We all need a wee break from the horrors of today’s world ….. so have a good laugh

Guess where this Building is 

Get ready to smile :)

Get ready to smile:)

Scroll down for answer ….

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Viagra’s Head Office in Toronto ( Canada )

Seriously, it is !!!

Can’t accuse Canadians of not having a sense of humour!!!

TRUMP MAKES HIS DEBUT IN MEXICO FOR HALLOWEEN

Trump has become arguably the most hated man south of the border after describing Mexican immigrants as criminals, drug sellers and rapists. Trump masks sold in Mexico depict the real estate mogul with his mouth agape and a caricature blond hairdo.

 

Source

GUINNESS RECORDS LONGEST CASE OF CONSTIPATION IN BRITISH HISTORY TODAY

The Throne Room

The Throne Room

Today, September 9 2015,  Queen Elizabeth ll will overtake Queen Victoria to become Britain’s longest reigning monarch with a reign of more than 63 years 216 days on the throne.

 Queen Elizabeth II will mark 63 years and 217 days on the throne today, September 9

Queen Elizabeth II will mark 63 years and 217 days on the throne today, September 9

This might help HRM ….

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IMAGE OF THE DAY ~~ THE WHITE HOUSE AFTER TRUMP’S ELECTION

ONE YEAR AFTER TRUMP TAKES OFFICE

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Actual photo just a year earlier

Actual photo just a year earlier

DONALD TRUMP PROVES IT’S FOR REAL

Trump ‘I don’t wear a toupee, it’s my hair, I swear’ 

The REAL Issues

IF YOU LOVE TRUMP YOU WILL LOVE THIS AD

Best one I’ve seen yet …. found on my son’s FaceBook Page…

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Here are some other good ones …

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Donald Trump hair jokes

JOKE OF THE DAY ~~ YA GOTTA LOVE THIS ONE!

CLOCKS IN HEAVEN

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A Man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” 

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.” 

“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that? 

“That’s Mother Teresa’s.  The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.” 

“Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?” 

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life.” 

“Where’s Hillary Clinton’s clock?” asked the man. 

“Hillary’s clock is in Jesus’ office….. 

He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

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TIMELY TOON ~~ NETANYAHU’S REACTION TO IRAN DEAL

Image by Carlos Latuff

Image by Carlos Latuff

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THE LATEST LATUFF SPOOFS

Carlos comes to New York ….

My “Palestinian Mandela” cartoon in a pro-Palestine demo in NYC. Photos: Bud Korotzer

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Tracking Israeli war crimes

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Bella Ciao Omar Sharif

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JOKE OF THE MONTH ~~ HILLARY HONOURS RAMADAN BY TAKING ON A MUSLIM NAME

This might just be the root of her problems …

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